It's a World Without End, Amen, Thing

Dear America,

"I am grateful for what I am & have.  My thanksgiving is perpetual.  It is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite -- only a sense of existence.  Well anything for variety.  I am ready to try this for the next 1000 years, & exhaust it.  How sweet to think of!  My extremities well charred, and my intellectual part too, so that there is no danger of worm or rot for a long while.  My breath is sweet to me.  O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches.  No run on my bank can drain it -- for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment."  Henry David Thoreau

oh Lord

it is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite...

This guy, Thoreau.... boy, did he seem to have it all figured out.

Ugh.
It's a new day; and while this girl would love to dwell in a perpetual thanksgiving in the good company of Thoreau in this moment, the last twenty-four finds me struggling with death once more.  Given it's permanence, it's ability to surprise, it's immediate shift to living in a new reality -- whatever needed to be said, whatever needed to be resolved, is no longer even in the realm of possibility, in death.

No more, no more.

Life and death are only separated by fine lines, we cross over it when it's our time, whether it makes sense, or not, and no matter who we leave behind.

O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches....

O how I laugh....and toss and turn, not getting a wink of sleep.

It's not like I was even all that close to her, anymore; we were torn apart by a ridiculous rift, and oh how I wish to only remember the good...

It's like, one can only imagine being the doctor, struggling to revive a patient, only to realize the patient is his wife.

But this isn't about the Poway shooting; it's about my circle, my family, my brother, his wife.

Gone. 
She is gone gone gone.

And it is final; it feels sharp, piercing through every sensibility; I can only imagine how he, my dear brother, must feel.

And the reality there is that there's a pretty good chance I never will.  There hasn't been a word between us in years.  like, years and years.

yes.  I know.  It is tragic.

I think of their children, losing their mama.
I think of her parents, surviving their daughter.

But surely surely, God must have a plan for us all; but God knows what it is just now, there is that.

Truth is, God has a plan for all the world.

And this girl is pretty sure Beto is a little off, predicting we've only got about ten years left; correction, that the planet has only about  ten years left to make the drastic changes necessary to curb climate change.  It's like, what kind of nonsense is that?... talk about Climate Change Extremists 

And you, you Beto get your head examined if you believe that.

And just maybe, Beto should be reading more Thoreau, right? -- it is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite...

O this life -- it is not permanent people; we can't take anything with us when we leave; and the planet will live on with our without us until GOD says so.  It's Gods creation, God's world. And God's prophecy lives through generation after generation, in spite of whatever nonsense we are fed for political gain through the progressive agenda.

Beto is apparently in town today....taking questions as we speak.  heavy sigh.

The family of the Poway Synagogue shooter released a statement:

"We are shocked and deeply saddened by the terrible attack on the Chabad of Poway synagogue. But our sadness pales in comparison to the grief and anguish our son has caused for so many innocent people. He has killed and injured the faithful who were gathered in a sacred place on a sacred day. To our great shame, he is now part of the history of evil that has been perpetrated on Jewish people for centuries. Our son’s actions were informed by people we do not know, and ideas we do not hold. Like our other five children, he was raised in a family, a faith, and a community that all rejected hate and taught that love must be the motive for everything we do. How our son was attracted to such darkness is a terrifying mystery to us, though we are confident that law enforcement will uncover many details of the path that he took to this evil and despicable act. To that end, our family is cooperating with investigators. We ask only that the media and the public respect our privacy and allow the criminal justice system to work. Our heavy hearts will forever go out to the victims and survivors. Our thanks go to the first responders who prevented even greater loss of life and the well-wishers who have supported us. And we pray for peace"

My sadness pales in comparison to the grief and anguish my brother must be feeling just now, losing his soul mate and mother of his precious babies, all six.

and maybe I'm bouncing from one thing to the next just trying to see what will stick, what will keep my sense and sensibilities together, in the midst of all this fraying, the knots inside my stomach, the dizzying swirl of thoughts inside my head, trying to make sense of that which doesn't make any sense at all.

Why God?  Why Julie, why Janet, why Lori....

But who am I to question, right.

I am wee big in God's world; a world that is beautiful, boundless, and self-perpetuating in every way. It is a world everlasting, enduring, and without end.  And can I get an amen?

The truth is, that in a world according to God -- in Christ -- we are deathless.

as blog #995 meets its abrupt end.

Make it a Good Day, G