It's What Does Jimmy Carter and Two Dogs Got to Do with It Thing...(barf bag not included)

Dear America,

We are just so road weary of being taken for a ride.

right?

Did I take the words right out of your mouth?
...it's like... if we hear one more lie... taste one more nugget of truth out of a bucket of deep fried, over-processed rhetoric  ... witness one more 'but he hit me first'... we just might veer off the side of the road, spin into the ditch, if not, fly over edge of the cliff and plummet to our death all by our self.

something about last night's debate just plum exhausted me --

the only sign of life was the intermittent joke, washed over the crowd in fits and spurts, but hardly often enough to keep the eyes open and the interest piqued.


Beginning with Gingrich who dropped a few ha-ha moments [and accidentally slipping into a remake of Wednesday's blog:  It's Socialism Stupid -- Among Other Things].  Here's Newt, retelling a Reagan era campaign zinger:

"when your neighbor is unemployed, 

we call it a recession. 

when you are unemployed, 

we call it a depression.  

when Jimmy Carter is unemployed, 

we call it a recovery."

good stuff.

..and just as I was beginning to give up on the whole thing (seen it, heard it, tell me something I don't know already...)...we were introduced to another funny guy.

The biggest belly laugh of the night came from a candidate on the fringe, the outskirts, Gary Johnson.  With perfect pitch and inflection... simply letting the dry wit wind float over the crowd.... boom!

"my neighbor's two dogs 

have created more shovel ready jobs 

then this administration." 

badump buh.

good one. although, too bad it wasn't his own work...and you're gonna have to look it up yourself...as I digress...

But poor Gary [fighting the urge to picture SpongeBob's pet snail...], much of his ideas may be falling on deaf ears; but every chance he got, Johnson said the first thing he would do as president would involve immediately balancing the budget -- cutting 43% of everything, pretty much across the board.  [yes, it's bold AND too bad this kind of agenda doesn't stand a chance of survival].

spinning off into something totally unrelated [sort of] -- yesterday, I ventured down the road of contacting someone within the AARP.  Yes, I am approaching the big  Five-Oh, but that doesn't even come close to the real reason for making contact.

I called them to tell them their new ad is deplorable, misguided, disingenuous, and stupid.  yeah, good luck with that G, right?   

Yes, it is bad enough that the first voice you hear (when calling the toll-free number) is Betty White's; that all you hear is Betty's voice -- yes...all the way through it... over the river and through the woods... at each and every prompt that redirects you to the department needed. It's just Betty.  Over and over and over again.  There is that.


But now, with their new ad, AARP is using seniors to preach the living fear into old people, asking everyone to call Washington, to tell them to back off their Medicare and Social Security.  really?  seriously? where was the AARP when Obamacare -- now legally binding -- commits the crime of taking 500 Billion dollars from Medicare to help pay for it?

Where were you then, AAAAAAAAAA R Pathetic?

[rhetorical question...we know who profits greatly with that little stunt] 

But back to living in the now,  NOBODY in their right mind is going to cut benefits to current seniors. Nobody.

[and risking being off message again -- 

did you catch the nods to Fed Ex and Lowe's?

...oh what ever]

The AARP is just peddling yet another lie to serve themselves.

It's like all the pointing of fingers back and forth last night, of the flipping and the flopping on positions -- is this the new AARP not to be confused with the old AARP?   Are you really for Medicare after you were against it?  Will the real AARP please stand up?

I am just sick of it.

The campaign has only just begun and my head is spinning... my stomach is nauseated... I'm feeling dizzy...and I think I'm gonna.............

I am just sick of it; I am beside myself in disappointment, sensing an overwhelming feeling of deja vu, thinking we must be going in circles.

The only thing that is saving me right now -- looking at the field of contenders preparing to go up against The Chosen One --  is this:   The Chosen One sucks more.

and speaking of fits and spurts of nausea, another rumor is being circulated about The First Lady being pregnant (again).  Now this gossip's been dropped on the street before -- nearly on an annual basis -- but who knows, right.  It could be true this time around...whatever ya gotta do to win...whatever you gotta say...whatever you gotta imply...whatever.   It's all just a part of the game.

So where are we?  Is the law of diminishing returns ringing in the next president of the United States?  By all appearances thus far, instead of appreciating in value we seem to be depreciating.

Just where is the classic, made in America, untarnished man (or woman) of steel?
Guess I'm just searchin' for a some kind of real Iaccoca (I mean, miracle) right about now...

Have politics and society reached such a level of corruption, that the one who wins is the one showing the least amount of dings and scratches?  Is that how we decide our fate?

Before I leave today, I want to do a couple of shout-out's for some really good advertising (or is it the sentiment, or is it both??)  Cuz you know... what kind of an American girl would I be if I didn't counter-punch the AARPee BS:

First one:


good,  right.

and given that I mentioned Iacocca, I would be really missing the gotcha-moment if I didn't go to Ford for the next example:



and just in case you ever wondered if the ad is "real" -- watch this:




The thing is, we are -- as citizens -- in keeping of the greatest duty and responsibility in all the land: electing the President of the United States of America.  We have seen what overzealous appeals to the heart of a social justice agenda can do; we have seen what the reality of inexperience mixed with arrogance and narcissism can make; we have seen what the masterful work of false advertising meeting up with a dynamic, young, complicated, community organizer and free radical can create;

NOW, all we want is the truth.

We are finished with all the songs and games and billboards and pokes in the side -- of course, accompanying alongside the ever so annoying and persistent bickering back and forth.

We are done; nauseated and spent in every possible way -- a.k.a. umpteen ways from Sunday -- all we want to do is get there already.

And yet, we still have such a long, long road ahead.

SO happy friday, everyone; I don't know about you, but I'm headed out to stock up on Dramamine, more Advil, and just maybe a little Maker's Mark (G fineprint: the three never to be used at the same time or when venturing behind the wheel). 

Make it a Good Day, G